Is it the rain that has made today suck? Is it my period? Is it having to do stuff that I don't know how to do (or have any desire to do)? Is it having to be the boss?

Even though there was some smashing news on the legal front this morning, today has sucked all around. There's a large part of me that wants to crawl into bed and stay there...forever.

Even my cats are avoiding me - the one time I really really need them to be in my face, demanding attention, and instead they're knocking stuff off the sewing table and skittering away from me. Granted, I am lurching after them, saying "Cuddle with me!" in a creepy voice, but still.

I'd better shake this feeling by tomorrow. I have to go to a baby shower, and I'll need to put on my happy-to-be-here face. Ugh, two hours surrounded by mums and married women. I might as well tattoo a big "S" on my forehead. "S" for "Single."

Okay, that's enough out of me. Time to build a fire and make some hors d'ouevres. Mexinese rolls FTW!
Sometimes, I want to say that I made a mistake coming up here.

I wonder if I am projecting some kind of destruction field, so that everywhere I go, things fall apart. Maybe I just have the world's worst timing, but things have been going kind of shittily since I got here, and I feel like it's my fault.

It's bright almost 24 hours a day now...it gets kind of dark, like twilight, around midnight, but otherwise it is constant light. I will have to remember it when September rolls around and things are dark again.

One thing is for sure - if I survive another six months here, I should be able to survive anywhere.
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Oh, god, there is no way I can even contemplate answering that question without falling apart. Just, no possible way.

Thanks a bundle, LJ.

March 2012

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